I get the urge to write at all the wrong times. In the middle of the night, when my pragmatism (or laziness) tells me to stay put on the bed, halfway through an International Economics class when I should really just be drawing graphs in my notebook or like now, in the middle of my end-trim exams, when I should be studying at 200 miles an hour to make up for lost time (spent idling away in bed). But here I am, writing.
I am hoping the opportunity cost is not as grievous as my mind makes it out to be. The fact that I am writing these words reflects my indifference.
There is no real "point" to this entry. My life has been more or less...normal. Although my definition of that rather subjective concept changes every few months. Right now, normal for me is a mix of a few very beautiful things. Normal is to do well in my academics. After a long time, I am actually slightly (if I may be as brave as to admit) proud of myself for doing quite well in a subject that is not yet a year old for me. Normal is to look forward to going to college, travelling two and a half hours at times, just because I can spend a few amazing hours with my best friend who I am dating (yes I said it. About time! ). I guess the reason I have been so reluctant in saying the "d" word is because it means so little to me.
What I have with the Delhiite goes so so much further than just going out for dinner (something that we have incidentally not done yet, in these last three months) and talking over our food. Normal (with the Delhiite) is to play FIFA in the middle of the night and nearly falling asleep on the couch. Normal is to go to Candies and buy just a huge tray of dessert and eat all of it in one go. Normal is to simultaneously text each other about how sick we feel after all that sugar.Normal is to make long unending lists of "pacts" and adding to it with shameless abandon. Normal is to end up saying the same thing at the same time, at so many different instances, it ceases to surprise. Normal is to have the best conversations over cheese Maggie and apple juice and dragging out the last few mouthfuls to prolong the conversation. Normal is to getting drunk and being happy and doing the craziest things. Normal is being able to argue and make up and realizing how much this has come to mean to us. Normal is to knowing the lyrics to bad jingles and to having different opinions. Normal is to getting changed into a better person, every single day.
After a really poisonous relationship, you fear commitment. You fear getting close to anybody. You pledge to be happy on your own. And just when you feel thats happening, a random 6 foot 3 goofball edges their way into your life and before you know it, you can be normal again.
I am hoping the opportunity cost is not as grievous as my mind makes it out to be. The fact that I am writing these words reflects my indifference.
There is no real "point" to this entry. My life has been more or less...normal. Although my definition of that rather subjective concept changes every few months. Right now, normal for me is a mix of a few very beautiful things. Normal is to do well in my academics. After a long time, I am actually slightly (if I may be as brave as to admit) proud of myself for doing quite well in a subject that is not yet a year old for me. Normal is to look forward to going to college, travelling two and a half hours at times, just because I can spend a few amazing hours with my best friend who I am dating (yes I said it. About time! ). I guess the reason I have been so reluctant in saying the "d" word is because it means so little to me.
What I have with the Delhiite goes so so much further than just going out for dinner (something that we have incidentally not done yet, in these last three months) and talking over our food. Normal (with the Delhiite) is to play FIFA in the middle of the night and nearly falling asleep on the couch. Normal is to go to Candies and buy just a huge tray of dessert and eat all of it in one go. Normal is to simultaneously text each other about how sick we feel after all that sugar.Normal is to make long unending lists of "pacts" and adding to it with shameless abandon. Normal is to end up saying the same thing at the same time, at so many different instances, it ceases to surprise. Normal is to have the best conversations over cheese Maggie and apple juice and dragging out the last few mouthfuls to prolong the conversation. Normal is to getting drunk and being happy and doing the craziest things. Normal is being able to argue and make up and realizing how much this has come to mean to us. Normal is to knowing the lyrics to bad jingles and to having different opinions. Normal is to getting changed into a better person, every single day.
After a really poisonous relationship, you fear commitment. You fear getting close to anybody. You pledge to be happy on your own. And just when you feel thats happening, a random 6 foot 3 goofball edges their way into your life and before you know it, you can be normal again.
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